Many of us who grew up with quality Transformers material are amongst the Michael Bay films’ most vehement critics. 2018’s Bumblebee was a relief for everyone, as it delivered the exact opposite of what we’d been getting on the big screen and marked a significant change in the direction of the franchise. No more would critics dread the arrival of another robots in disguise film, and fans could now find something worthwhile beyond repeat viewings of the 1984-87 show, or its 1986 feature-length adventure.
Rise of the Beasts takes place in 1994, following on from the events of Bumblebee, but sadly without Hailee Steinfeld. Instead, we have the first cinematic appearance of the Maximals, a race of Transformers that take on the appearance of animals. Some interest then for those who grew up watching the 1990s show Beast Wars: Transformers. Not only that, but the planet-eating monster Unicron, who originated from the 1986 animated film, is on his way to have Earth for a light supper! Unicron’s herald Scourge arrives to prepare the way, bringing him into conflict with the Autobots and Maximals.
From the opening minutes it’s clearly a major step down from Bumblebee, with a convoluted and downright languorous plot that feels two or three films too soon, thereby plaguing the proceedings with a distracting lack of consequence. These are the same issues we’ve seen in most of Marvel’s Phase Four films and shows. In fact, if you swapped the Transformers with MCU characters, things would play out much the same. Central characters snuff it before being brought back shortly after, and world-changing devastation unfolds only for everything to be completely fine. Some of the humour is also a touch too adult-themed for its key audience. None of it’s as disgustingly misjudged as in the Bay films, but you’re left laughing at the audacious, out-of-nowhere nature of the writing rather than the jokes themselves. Speaking of which, what’s with the endless dialogue dumping of other franchise names? I know a big part of these films is to sell merchandise, but for the love of God! If that’s not bad enough, Beasts teases a crossover with another (sort of) well-known Hasbro universe. Marvellous…
On the plus side, the robots smashing the living daylights out of each other is childishly thrilling, and crucially, coherent. In the Bay films it was always the equivalent of someone violently shaking the cutlery drawer in your face whilst screaming. The designs of the eponymous characters take a great deal of inspiration from their G1 incarnations which helps greatly when telling them apart.
It’s garbage, and still filmmakers fail to realise the human characters are almost always a hindrance as the Transformers have enough individual personality to fill those roles.
2/5
