I’d like to begin by citing the title of a Guardian review of Gal Gadot’s latest spy thriller, Heart of Stone: ‘Netflix’s Mission: Impossible-esque thriller is rock solid’. The words ‘rock solid’ can only be applied here if one is comparing it to the results of a lengthy lavatory trip. In other words, it’s not very good, at all.
The film begins with a CGI-tastic rip-off of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, complete with a wholly unconvincing parachute jump by Gadot’s Rachel Stone (admittedly not quite as naff a name as Extraction’s Tyler Rake). We then move into a Bond-inspired opening sequence, complete with a track from Noga Erez, the quality of which, I’m certain, constitutes as a breach of the Geneva Convention. From the word go there’s every conceivable espionage cliché being hurled at you, accompanied by dialogue so on the nose it’ll require manual realignment by the film’s conclusion.
The self-made comparisons with M:I have done it no favours, and this is merely another in a recent line of laughable action films by Netflix such as The Gray Man, and Extraction 1&2. For all Dead Reckoning Part One’s faults, and there are a few, the action scenes were at least executed with real skill and panache. Heart of Stone manages to evoke other spy franchises, but only in the sense you’ll wish you were watching those instead.
On the one hand, it’s great there’s an original spy movie out there looking to place a female protagonist centre stage. That, however, is undermined considerably when all it does is steal bits from better films and boasts a star who, with the best will in the world, is far from a riveting screen presence. A great Wonder Woman no doubt, but Gadot’s performance in Heart of Stone is the acting equivalent of a piece of decking with a sultry stare drawn on in permanent marker (see image above).
Boring and derivative rubbish of the most tiresome variety, made all the worse after being so greatly spoiled recently by the high-quality delights of Barbie and Oppenheimer. If you want some excellent espionage material, seek out Apple TV’s stupendous Slow Horses.
2/5
