Justin And The Knights Of Valour

In a world where knights have been outlawed and replaced with lawyers and bureaucrats, one young man has a dream to become a knight.

 

The grandson of the local hero of the realm, Justin undertakes a quest to retrieve his grandfather’s sword and become a knight. Time is against him though – as his grandfather’s killer is advancing on the realm with his army to seize power.

 

Don’t be under any illusion whatsoever; this is a cinematic war crime. If you take your children to see this film I will ring social services with a report of child abuse.

 

All the marketing is trading off Antonio Banderas, as both a producer and voice actor, because there’s nothing with the film that’s good enough to run with. The only thing that impressed me in this film was the rain in 3D. That’s it.

 

I watched this in a screen filled with parents and children… I heard two laughs. Not two sequences at which people laughed, two individual laughs, and both of them were from adults. A kids’ film that kids don’t find funny is the dictionary definition of abject failure.

 

It’s full of references that children are never going to get – but are done in such a poor way that they aren’t funny for those that do get them. I could spend six months listing the problems, but the film isn’t worth it. I feel sorry for the stellar cast who will have this stain on their careers forever. Avoid it like you would a market research cipboard monkey when you’re late.

 

Taylor Iscariot

In it
Cast: Freddie Highmore, Antonio Banderas, Saoirse Ronan

Behind it
Director: Manuel Sicilia

Rating
0/10




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