Exposed's Top 10 Alternative Christmas Songs

 

Exposed's Top 10 Alternative Christmas Songs

 

We’re hurtling towards Christmas at a seemingly rapid rate. You’ve probably already noticed the sound of festive bells following you around the city centre, as the days get shorter and there seems to be twice as many people about as there was in September. You may have even found yourself humming the same old Christmas belters by the likes of Wizzard, Slade and bloomin’ Mariah Carey. It’d be a welcomed change if radio stations decided to play a compilation of festive tunes that describe how Christmas really can be. The dark realities of family feuds, the stress of Christmas shopping and the stark fact not all of us like having festivities rammed down our throat every December (or September!). We’ve put together a list of our top 10 alternative Christmas songs, enjoy!

 

1) Weird Al Yankovic – The Night Santa Went Crazy

Never one to shy away from the weird and controversial, Weird Al Yankovic’s The Night Santa Went Crazy certainly ticks all those boxes. The song and video display a stark alternative to your typical North Pole scene, with Santa getting drunk and murdering several elves and reindeers. Those of a sensitive disposition look away now.

 

 

2) Blink-182 – Happy Holidays You Bastard (explicit)

A song that will resonate with any true Christmas hater, Blink-182’s anti-Christmas anthem touches upon the stresses of present wrapping and having to spend time with those you hate. There’s also a bit about ejaculating into a sock, but we can’t identify with that…

 

 

3) El Vez – Feliz Navidad

El Vez's juiced-up version of the insipid José Feliciano holiday classic "Feliz Navidad" first appeared on his Merry MeX-mas album and has since become the theme song of his holiday-season tours.

 

 

4) Sparks – Thank God It's Not Christmas

This track's poperatic, goth, glam, piano-cabaret avoidance of seasonal affective disorder is still endearing to those among us who would just as soon jump ahead to January and desperately avoid all the stress or loneliness. Cheerful stuff aye.

 

 

5) C3P0 and R2D2 – Sleigh Ride

The 80’s were weird times, especially with the release of ‘Christmas In The Stars’, an album which sees Anthony ‘C-3PO’ Daniels croon his way through 9 classic festive tunes. The weirdest has to be Sleigh Ride, which has R2 trying to sing the festive favourite 'Sleigh Ride' from 1950 despite living “a long time ago in a galaxy far far away" hmm…

 

 

6) Paul McCartney – Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reggae

Everyone is familiar with Paul’s ‘Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time’. The B-Side to the highly successful Christmas single included a sorta-groovy but baffling reggae instrumental of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

 

 

7) Sufjan Stevens – Christmas Unicorn

Sufjan Stevens has been releasing Christmas EP’s for a good number of years now, but nothing is as wacky and downright brilliant as 2010’s Christmas Unicorn. Beginning as a sweet folky tale of a ‘magical creature with a lazy eye’ it adds layers and layers of voices, builds into a massive crescendo. 12 minutes of Christmas crazy.

 

 

8) Kate Bush – Misty

Embrace the creepiness! Clearly a huge fan of the festive season (see her 1979 Christmas special) wacky bird Kate Bush released this gem in 1978. Accompanied by a weird animation, Kate sees a snowman come to life in her bedroom, and they begin to caress each other until he inevitably melts.  Think ‘The Snowman’ but weirder…

 

 

9) John Denver – Please Daddy Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas

Please Daddy Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas was written by songwriter John Denver, which first appeared on his 1973 album Farewell Andromeda .In the song all Daddy does is fall under the Christmas tree like a jolly old gent, but something makes us think he doesn’t remain quite so happy after little Johnny goes to bed… It’s a controversial subject and one of few honest Christmas songs.

 

 

10) Steel Panther – Sexy Sexy Santa (explicit)

Queue hair flicks and power-grabs galore, American glam rockers Steel Panther released this face-melter in 2009, Sexy Sexy Santa. The song goes into grave detail about Santa’s various festive sexcapades with his ‘ho ho hoes’. Good fun.

 

 

Any festive tunes you'd like to hear more of? Tweet us at @ExposedMagSheff and let us know!

 

Emily Beaumont

 




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